It's EURO 2012, so it must be time for a Kit Kat review

Time for a break. Headphones off, chocolate in (mouth) as I turn my hand to my other area of 'expertise', exotic Kit Kats.

Aloe Yoghurt flavour.

Now, sampling this 'delight' wasn't really helped by the fact it was the middle of sweltering summer and it hadn't exactly been chilled in the fridge. In fact, it was kind of reminiscent of munching on a blob of chocolate that had been mixed up with some skin moisturiser. Or shampoo. It really wasn't all that nice.

What is Aloe anyway? I always thought it was an ingredient in beauty products. Next you'll be telling me people put cucumbers in their sandwiches instead of on their eyes.

Cloying and perfumed, not recommeded. 7/10 for ODDNESS 3/10 for TASTE.

Pudding Kit Kats sound nice don't they? Oh DON'T THEY!?

But are they? And which is Kit Kat King Pudding?

From left to right we have, 'Big Little Custard Pudding', normal 'Custard Pudding' and 'KOBE pudding'.

I thought the 'Big Little' ones looked quite cool but to be honest I was massively underwhelmed. Weirdly though, my Mum really liked them and she's not famed for her love of Kit Kats. 

The 'Custard Pudding' one was more of the same really but in a far more satisfying stick form, but then came 'KOBE pudding'.

Look at that box. Granted it isn't quite as good as the Shinkansen one but still. Look at it! You can just imagine all those Kit Kat elves inside, merrily going about their business in their little Kobe Pudding Kit Kat factory, wearing lederhosen and feathers in their caps. Whistling as they heave wafers the size of girders into vats of the finest Kobe pudding chocolate mix. I know I can. 

For the box alone then I proclaim 'KOBE pudding' Kit Kats KING PUDDING.

Unfortunately, they all taste the same.

Big Little - ODDNESS 5/10 TASTE 5/10

Custard Pudding - ODDNESS 5/10 TASTE 6/10

KOBE Pudding - ODDNESS 5/10 TASTE 6/10

Friday May 4th - ENJOINT

This Friday (May 4th) is the annual ENJOINT bash at Sacred Spirits (Jamaica) with guest Masashi Osaku coming down from Osaka once again.

Always a good party, if your in town come down, it'll cost you ￥2000

It all kicks off at 9pm and includes a live preformance from Houribe LOU who you might have bumped in to on the bridge near the bomb dome some time.

I'm on at 1AM.

Looking forward to this. It's always nice to play on Jamaica's great sound system.

Hopefully see some of you there.

Just desserts

Double header time and WHAT a double header.

Recent times have thrown up some pretty good findings, to such an extent I can even THEME this post.

Japanese style desserts Yatsu hashi　八つ橋　and Annindofu 杏仁豆腐. There from, pffft, somewhere or other. Kyoto probably.

The one on the left up there is the Yatsu Hashi one and is very cinnamon-y, so, if you like cinnamon like what I does, you'll probably give it a thumbs up. Like what I did. Really very nice. It's an 8 on the yummy scale and an 8 on the originality one too.

Next up is the Annindofu one which is basically an almondy tofu dessert. Sounds disgusting, it's not. It's lovely as is this Kit Kat. As I swirled these particular chocolatey sticks around my palate (had to check how that was spelt) the very not unpleasant almondy flavours danced upon my tongue and the long finish was reminiscent of the plastic wrapper it had been aged in. I liked it, I liked it a lot. 8.5 (!) for flavour, and another 8 for originality.

Basically the best thing about these two Kit Kats was they actually tasted of something different that was a bit unusual and weren't too sickly. You haven't been charged for this advice Nestle.

Finally, this only contained normal Kit Kats (which actually were really nice to have as they are the best type of Kit Kat and I have't had one for ages because I'm always sampling daft ones) but just look at that box! A 3 carriage Nozomi Shinkansen no less! Also, according to the box, you can buy another and attach it to the back, giving you a full working 6 carriage rinky dink shink. And it had stickers in it.

Azuki Sandwich Kit Kat

T'other day on Twitter I heard mention of a Pumpkin Cheese Cake flavoured Kit Kit. Oh how I craved that particular flavour for, hmm, a day or two until, UNTIL, this landed in my lap.

Azuki Sandwich Kit Kat.

It's the sandwich bit that gets me. I've never seen an Azuki sandwich. Had plenty of Azuki sweet type things, but a white bread sandwich?

I *suppose* I should at least google it, hold on...

Hmmm well, from my 5 seconds of research, there are plenty of pancake/pastry Azuki combos but plain old white bread? Seems a bit weird, but then this is Kit Kat Japan, what did I expect. Perhaps this paves the way for that staple of the American diet, peanut butter and jelly sandwich Kit Kat.

Anyway, what are they like? Pretty good! Kind of like a normal Kit Kat with subtle Azuki undertones. Nice. I wonder who got to synthesise the TOAST element of this Kit Kat in the Nestle Japan labs. 'OK, Hiroshi, you do the Azuki flavouring, and Akira-kun, you do the toast', 'Oh what!? why do I have to do the toast, I always get the supporting flavours'. Something like that anyway.

That is ofcourse IF Kit Kat actually have bothered to include bready elements to this release, or perhaps they're hoping the Azuki slant will pull the wool over our eyes. I'd hate to think they came up with all these weird and wonderful flavours and then didn't follow through. They want to be careful, Watchdog will be on their case.

Originality - 9/10

Niceness - 7/10

Soy Sauce Kit Kat

Been a little slack of late which has lead to a katastrophic lack of updates on here, the Kit Kat Factor.

So, here we are with one of the heavyweights. The kind of Kit Kat flavour that elicits a perfectly reasonable WTF?

Soy Sauce.

WTF?

See, told you.
I'd heard tale of this particular Kit Kat and was given a box of them (They're the small ones) after a friend risked life and limb on a hunting trip to Tokyo.

I have a great sequence (when I say sequence I mean 2) of photos of my little friend and some time Kit Kat taster Moe, trying this particular flavour. I don't think I should upload them without her permission though so I'll talk you through them;

Photo 1 : Moe takes a tentative nibble.

Photo 2 : Moe looks like there's been a small explosion (about the size those plastic green soldiers might have set off) on her desk.

It would make a nice gif.

However I think Moe was playing up to the cameras a little because, actually, Soy Sauce Kit Kats are quite nice. There, I've said it.

Moe's mum was telling me there's a white soy sauce and perhaps that's what these Kit Kat's are based on as ineed they are white. I did a little bit of research. Literally a little. I googled it, confirmed it existed and came back here. If you'd like more information on it, off you trot.

But, anyway, yeah, they're alright. Not bad. Quite good. Hardly a eulogy I know but really, what were you expecting from a SOY SAUCE flavoured chocolate bar.

I wouldn't write home about them. Neither would I kick them out of bed (unless they started to melt). I did however write this blog about them.

Originality - 9/10

Niceness - 6.5/10

Pretty high scoring there.

NEW E.P. Available on Beatpick

I have a new 4 track E.P. available here on Beatpick.

The 4 tracks are :

1. Next Rhythm
2. Hot Out
3. Hold It
4. Part Timer

It costs £4.00 ( ￥５００, 6.32 USD or 4.63 EUR) and is downloadable as a Wav file or Mp3

Heads of huge multinational companies, you can also license the tracks for global advertising if you so wish :)

You can also stream all the tracks on Beatpick, but I'm sure you'd all much rather support a starving artist....right? ....RIGHT?

Many thanks to Tarekith at Inner Portal Studio for mastering and Malachy Byrne for the use of his photo for the artwork.

Have a listen anyway.

よろしく

Cola and Lemon Squash Kit Kats

Now this was a treat. 2, count 'em, weirdly flavoured Kit Kats in one packet.

Already scoring high.

'Which one will you eat?' the packet politely enquires. Well, both obviously, durr, but which one first?

Had to be Cola. Lemon Squash looked interesting but coke flavoured chocolate? It could possibly be the best thing ever!!

It wasn't. Kind of like chewing a warm glass (not the actual glass, not even Kit Kat Japan would go that far....would they?) of coke with bits of wafer floating around.

And then the surprise. Lemon Squash, which I reckon would be better translated as lemonade, wasn't bad at all. It wasn't great, but it was ok, and big improvement on Cola. Kind of zingy chocolate.

The best thing about this one though was that there were two, and of the two I liked one.

Perhaps Kit Kat should team up with other purveyors of pop. Not Justin Bieber, but drinks like Calpis or Fanta Grape. Actually, Justin Bieber Kit Kat might work. What am I saying, ofcourse it will work. Make it so (and remember where you read it first Kit Kat bods).

Cola - NICENESS - 3/10 ORIGINALITY 8/10

Lemonade - NICENESS 6/10 ORIGINALITY 7/10

PUFFIN Kit Kat (+ more)

If you're excitedly thinking Kit Kat had really pulled a new flavour out of the bag and are expecting the inevitable, 'tastes a bit like chicken' comment, I have to apologise, just a little joke.



You see, one of the THREE (yes, 3) Kit Kat flavours I'll be reviewing here is the 'パフ　in' Kit Kat.



The 'パフ' (pafu) refers to little 'puffs' of, I dunno, honecombe type stuff, embedded in the chocolate. Hence, 'puff' 'in'.



I tell you what, it's, PUFF-etic.



(pauses to enjoy that moment)



You hardly even notice they are there. Much like if you lived in a major connurbation, you wouldn't really be aware of the existence of puffins.



It's so average I'm introducing a new scoring system. From now on, each Kit Kat will get a NICENESS rating out of 10, and a ORIGINALITY rating, also out of 10. How you weigh the 2 scores up is entirely up to you.



I'm generous like that.



So this is going to get a 7/10 for Niceness. It is after all a pretty normal chunky Kit Kat, and a 1/10 for it's PUFF-ormance in the originality stakes. Poor.





Next up were the incredibly underwhelming Cookies and Cream and Strawberry Hazlenut.



Both came in boxes with MINISCULE little Kit Kats inside.



C and C failed to live up to it's lovely ice cream cousin, and the SH one was as cloying and sickly as Strawberry flavoured chocolate usually is.



C and C gets 6/10 for niceness and 5/10 for originality.



SH gets 4/10 for niceness and 6/10 for originality.



Where the hell the hazlenut 'flavour' is in the latter is anybody's guess.



Must try harder.

CHEESE Kit Kat

As it's my birthday (yes it's MY birthday), a special Kit Kat blog is most definitely required. Not sure who by, but let's not quibble because here it is ; The Cheese Kit Kat review.

Cheese Kit Kat, is at the same time, the very best of Kit Kats and the very worst of Kit Kats. I'm not confused, it all depends on where you're coming from when you approach your wafer based chocolate snack treats.

If you're after a nice piece of chocolate covered wafer, then forget these babies (worst). On the other hand, if you're after that 'unique' chocolate experience, you know, the kind you sit your grandchildren on your knee to regale them with, then this is a one stop shop (best).

In short, they are disgusting. 'But chocolate goes with anything!' I hear some people cry. I hear them cry again as I stab them with something sharp.

Not cheese. Chocolate and cheese are like, erm, chalk and cheese. Chocolate flavoured chalk.

Interesting point : They come in a little cardboard, 'wooden chest'. Not sure why. Perhaps the designer was reminded of his sock chest, if indeed there are such things, because the minute you unwrap one of these, THAT's the aroma you get. Sweaty chocolatey socks. Mmmmm.

So, if you want some nice chocolate, I'd give these a miss. You'll be quite literally, cheesed off. Then again, want to impress some friends with some novelty snacks, you'll be a big cheese at parties where such people go.

Me, I'm giving them 2/10 because if I start messing with the rating system and give them 10/10 for their 'wow' factor, where will the madness end?

Blueberry Kit Kat

If you want my advice kids, never consume unknown substances passed to you in darkened bars.

Then again, if it's clearly labeled 'BLUEBERRY KIT KAT', you're probably going to be alright.

A friend gave me this, in, as I say, a bar (the place you drink, not the chocolate variety).

So I'd had a few beers when I ate it which probably means the circumstances of this review were hardly scientific. Let's face it, most things taste alright after a few drinks (that kebab shop near Brighton station springs to mind, 'you want chilli sauce with that?' 'no thanks' 'ok you have chilli sauce', :splosh: ).

So I enjoyed it and I'll give it a 7. Whether or not you factor in the alcohol, er, factor I will leave up to you.

Bugger, I should have called this blog 'THE KIT KAT FACTOR' a la 'THE KRYPTON FACTOR'

The one that got away - Apple Vinegar Kit Kat

A long long time ago, in a place I sometimes work at, there was a tuck shop. Snacks could be bought for a 100yen each, it was our １００円shop.

For a very long time, this specimen sat on the counter, untouched, unloved.

Unlike the Wasabi Kit Kat, which was A. given to me and B. so weird I had to try it, this just looked, well, rank.

Vinegar?? eurgh. I like it on chips but apart from that, the smell on it's own, i.e. not on chips and mixed with salt, makes me gag.

I didn't even know what Apple Vinegar was, all I knew was, this Kit Kat had a VINEGAR element to it. I would sneer at it as I bought a normal Kit Kat or possibly some Pretz.

So I never got it. It sat there for weeks maybe months. Probably went past it's sell by date. Then I had a Wasabi Kit Kat and I remembered this. 'tch, I should have tried that', I thought to myself. Infact, as I type this I'm getting flash backs of trying a pineapple Kit Kat (I think). Never documented it though.

Anyway, I think I have since tried the actual drink this is based on. It's a not unpleasant juice type drink with a slightly unpleasant undercurrent of vinegar. Also, it looks like vinegar. Then again so does apple juice. And pee.

So, I can't tell you what this actual Kit Kat tastes like. We can only wonder, about what might have been......

(unless 7/11 comes up trumps)

Banana Kit Kat

Now, if I was 8 years old, which I'm not, I probably would have LOVED this Banana Kit Kat. Look how yellow it is!

mmmmmmm big fat yellow banana Kit Kat.

I was quite looking forward to sampling it but I guess I've grown up just a little bit, well, my taste buds have anyway.

Too sweet.

I could literally feel my teeth fizzing as I ate it.

Perhaps if it had been those little Kit Kats you get in packets I might have liked it more, and I did quite like it. It was just too much sugar wise.

I'll give it a 6 out of 10 though.

My 8 year old self would probably have gone for an 8. Surprise surprise.

Wasabi Kit Kat

Here's the little bugger that started it all off. Excuse the photos from my old phone, I wasn't planning on embarking on this 'endeavour' at the time.

'Would you like a Wasabi Kit Kat?' a colleague asked me one day.

'What?' I replied, but there it was. In all it's greeny goodness.

Why, where, who? are reasonable responses to this chocolate freak but it exists so best deal with it.

So what's it like? Well, it starts off like a Kit Kat but then you get a little after kick of Wasabi.

I'd like to report it's not unpleasant. But it is. A Kit Kat is after all, not a sumptious slice of sashimi.

It's a chocolate covered wafer bar.

4/10

Still it got more positive reviews from others. Another colleague said of it '何かフレッシュなかんじ' Which means it has a kind of fresh taste to it. Zesty I suppose. And here's a video of my brother reviewing it, until he has an Adebayor moment.

Kit Kats

I'm moving my Kit Kat nonsense over here and am kind of proud of my new logo. CKF becomes CKKF. I suppose having been Chuo Kouen football it should have been CKKKF. Dunno, something about the triple K thing that I didn't like. Not sure why.

Anyway, I've been documenting Kit Kats for a while now. Just writing that is depressing, but, that's how it's panned out. Every time I walk into a conbini now, I can't help but glance at the chocolate section.

I googled Kit Kat blogs and unbelievably there are some. Rest assured this will be a Kut above the rest. Especially with puns like that. Also, none of this ordering online business. I hunt my prey in the wild. Ordering a flavour over the net to me is a bit like ordering that Figurini Panini sticker you couldn't find in the packets at the newsagents (Joe Spencely I'm looking at you). Also, I can't be bothered.

Anyway, sit tight, put the kettle on, slip the outer label off and run your thumb down the crease and feel that satisfactory tear in the foil as...I'm sorry, this is kind of getting disgusting. Sit down, drink a cup of tea, eat a Kit Kat, read my blog. There.