Osaka

It's been barely a month since my last blog of a big building with a kind of round shaped thing in the middle, so here it is. The Umeda Sky building in Osaka. The two 'projectile' thingys sticking through the hole are the 'see through' escalators up/down the last 5 floors. Now, I'm not very good heights and the description of these two contraptions being see through didn't exactly fill me with confidence. 'Will I be able to come back down again if I don't want to go up it?' I whinged, terrified that the lift would open to reveal these dreaded staircases with no turning back. As it was/is, you can't see through the escalators themselves (ofcourse) but you are able to look out all around you which I avoided doing by staring at SH's chest. So, I made it, but, there was still the roof to go and this is open air. I crept up the final staircase and approached the edge as slowly as possible to find......at least 10 meters between the barrier and the actual edge. Phew. I'd done it. I could then strut around cockily and laugh at the DISGUSTING green wedding dress a blushing bride was wearing. Hope she doesn't read the blog.

Osaka is an odd place. It gets a lot of good write ups and so it should, Osakans are pretty friendly and there's loads to do but I find the gaijin who live there a very weird breed. I have mostly been to fairly typical run of the mill bars/clubs (one search for a nice little bar ended in the usual wandering around looking up at buildings wondering where the fuck it is) but some of the characters I've seen..... Best of all was Mr Cliche. Buzz Lightyear in sunglasses and open shirt, a fist of grease in his hair and mission to annoy as many Japanese women as possible in the shortest span of time. You really had to see him to believe him. Perhaps if he took the glasses he could see the girls mouthing 'help!' to their friends and trying to suppress their laughter. Then again if you are like him you'll probably be telling yourself they love it. Saw a couple of fights too. Well done chaps! SH had a chat with a guy in one of the clubs about their licenses and if they'd had any problems recently a la Hiroshima/Tokyo. I won't mention th club's name, let's call it 'Pete and Joe's'. It was clear to both of us that that club was illegal under Japanese law but he was having none of it. 'Don't bring any trouble here' was one thing he said. Fuck's sake, people eh? I'm alright Jack.

Perhaps what always suprises me about Osaka is it's size. It's massive. I know that should be obvious but for some reason I always forget. It's bloody ugly but at the same time has some fairly cool big buildings. Still, Hiroshima looked lovely when we got back. The locals seem very up for having a good time though and perhaps next time I should make the effort to check out a 'proper' club. Talking of which we went to a very bling Hip Hop night. Hilarious. I love Hip Hip but there's some fucking shite out there (like most genres I know) and some of the people who listen to it are cocks of the highest order. Me and SH were the only people in their smiling. They didn't play any UK hip hop for some reason......